- (301): Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?(760): You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
- (631): conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
- (206): A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
- (651): After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
- (310): I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
- (631): Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
- (317): I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
- (716): All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
- (626): Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
- (586): Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
- (207): We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
- (952): i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Happy Friday everyone! Congrats on surviving another week!
2 comments:
Oh my gosh, what is this? It's hilarious?
haha, they are from the website, www.textsfromlastnight.com
I have been posting them the past three Friday's because I love it so much.
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