- (206): Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
- (248): It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building supplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
- (330): Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
- (804): my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch Aladdin and he did it.
- (541): You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
- (678): Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
- (713): maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
- (719): I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
- (502): I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?(1-502): Welcome to every minute of my life.
- (978): Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant
- (985): Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
- (860): Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
- (425): If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
- (704): I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
- (732): You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
- (416): moral of the story ? theme parties + no morning after clothes= never again. . . i just met his father in a bumblebee costume
I figure that is enough fun for one day - Happy Friday everyone!
1 comment:
Very Funny! Have a good weekend!
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