just can't get enough - Text Friday

• (920): the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
• (650): dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning(805): 1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
• (502): people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
• (717): one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
• (802): i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.(802): ...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
• (978): I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
• (949): I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
• (479): I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
• (514): I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.(709): They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
• (267): Hey kate, how is it?(610): sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
• (209): is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?(1-209): yes...dear jesus what did you do?(209): bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
• (801): just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
• (910): In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
• (804): i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
• (864): sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
• (775): My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.

Happy Friday everybody!